Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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