i just google imaged poop.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
