Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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