I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
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