Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
