Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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