I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
