it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
