Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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