You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I would fuck him just for his dog
Randomize
