i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
