Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I need moral support for this bender
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Randomize
