Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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