I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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