Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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