I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
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