ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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