dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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