He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
