people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
