And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
