you guys were way drunker than both of me
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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