i'm signing you up for texting rehab
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
