Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
