I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
