Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
