I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize