i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Randomize