I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize