it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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