I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Randomize
