My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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