You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
