oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize
