He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
