:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I would fuck him just for his dog
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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