Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
