Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
