the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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