Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
