so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
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