I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
