just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
