I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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