I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
