Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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