i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I'm always down for nudity.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
