I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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