think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
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