kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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