Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize