just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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