he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
After tacos, we're chasing women.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
He has the fingertips of a God
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