Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
worst night to have a conscience
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
