I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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