You don't have asthma, your pregnant
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
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