Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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