My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
