I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Found the puke drawer
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
