I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
