My hand turned me down
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
