I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Randomize
