you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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