Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
