She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
