lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
