It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Randomize
