I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
